I've been an entrepreneur since I was 11 years old and I've come across many people in my life. Some taught me valuable lessons about what to do and others have taught me what not to do. I can not speak for everyone when I say some meant well, but just gave bad advice. I can probably count on one hand how many people were truly supportive of me taking the steps necessary in order to turn my business into something profitable. I was sharing this with my husband and we talked about being mislead all our lives when it comes to succeeding at any dream or vision. However I'm going to talk about some of the things I couldn't stand to hear as an entrepreneur who just wanted to go to the next level in business for myself. So here are 7 of the most annoying comments said to Entrepreneurs and Career Oriented People.
1. Go Get any Job until you can do what you want
I would never have a problem with this recommendation had it not been forcefully thrown in my face, and the suggestion for that particular job was within my skill set. I would have considered a job if I had the skills that matched the criteria for that specific job. As a young entrepreneur, running my own personal business, that alone has made my resume look the part for a job in retail, fashion, or project management. My credentials actually match up with my experience, and before I even started college I had a load of experience with no credentials. I didn't realize my business was something that should have gone on my resume until I was in college though. I was a preteen when I began my business and I had finally realized at 20 years old that my business was my experience in my field. I was a Fashion Design student and I was about to graduate when the Resume specialist pointed out my earrings and asked "How long have you been doing that?" and "What are some of the things you have to do to make your business run?" Well for one I needed good people skills, I designed the jewelry myself, when I ran out of supplies I replenished them which is doing inventory. I also completed orders when people placed them-I mean I could go on because it takes a lot to run a business, right? I even paid a cell phone bill and did my own marketing for my business. So even if I was looking for an internship or a regular job as a BRIDGE to fund my business I had something to offer them that was worth their time and mine. I wasn't someone who lacked skills or credentials, so random recommendations made me livid. Getting a job and keeping one is all about knowing yourself and what you are good at. Even going for a specific major in college is all about knowing yourself. When I applied for school the person who interviewed me asked me why I wanted to do Fashion Design and he said not to say it's just because I like clothes because he would stop our meeting. I told him I wanted to do it because I had been making jewelry since I was 11 and I was interested in improving my skills in my career. He was very impressed and I was accepted into college shortly after. Unfortunately I tried to go to another school and that didn't work out, and when I ended up reapplying I'd found out that guy who interviewed me had died. My application was good up to a year and I was 3 months short of being able to use the application he filed for me. What made me wake up and chose a school is that I had designed all the costumes for a play that my mother did in her classroom based on the book the Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carl and that is what made me realize that I had no business being at home, and not growing in this. This was a gift that I took very seriously although I did it for free at that moment.
2. That's just a Hobby
Just because the DIY and creative world has been taken by storm doesn't mean you have to dismiss what I do as a hobby. I can name a ton of professional designers, and they don't do what they do to entertain alone but they consider it their livelihood. If dance was a fake Alvin Alley dancers or your favorite music video with dance would not exist. If Producing music and playing an instrument is a fake career explain why you have music you listen to in your car? That didn't happen by chance. I don't know why people are stuck in this mindset that your work is something you should dreador that shouldn't be creative. If I'm working and growing in a skill. Show me what to do to increase my knowledge and use it instead of losing it. I am a person of manifold talents and I have always been creative, but when people just dismiss what I do as just a hobby and force any job on me "Jack of all Trades, Master of None" comes to mind. By discouraging people from following their dreams with a comment like "That's just a Hobby," you're actually distracting them from remaining focused because they begin to wonder what a real job is supposed to be, and how they can apply themselves to what they are signing up for. I mean it's constantly taught to stay focused but with comments like these how much of a contradiction is this? You have skills in a specific area, you are growing and sometimes making money doing it, but for some reason people want to get you off track, unfocused. Lost. If you don't know who you are you won't have an idea of what you need to be doing or where you belong. Similarly, if you do have an idea of who you are and what you are good at it is much easier to defend yourself against the nonsense people tell you about following your heart.
3. It Won't Work/ How are you going to make Money?
When asked this question it's either because someone doesn't quite understand what you are saying or they just think it won't make enough money. In the book of Ecclesiastes Solomon says there is nothing new under the sun. So why is this even a question? Many people have made money in the arts, many women have climbed corporate ladders, and regardless of color people have been successful. It's confusing that even in 2017 people still live by stereotypes, and biased views. If I want to improve and take my career seriously it's not just a big dream. Look at all the creative people in the world. Your Favorite rapper, actor, even your teacher from college had to follow their passions to be where they are, and there are many who were trail blazers in following their hearts doing some of the things you are doing now. Steve Jobs was told it wouldn't work. Einstein was told he failed and all he said is he didn't fail but he found a way NOT to do something. People who are creative don't give up we just become more persistent if something doesn't work out and we try again. Everybody doesn't have the spirit of perseverance though and those are the most loud, and obnoxious people I ever met because they're miserable and out to get you because you're doing something they wish they had done. Whether I'll make money or not is a silly question. The Bible says your gifts will make room for you and place you before great men (Proverbs 18:16). So while I'm a "little guy" let me work in my gift and increase it so it can be worthy to meet those great men. My Pastor says "Your work is not your JOB your work is your ASSIGNMENT." Knowing who you are will help you know your assignment. If a man works he should then eat, drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, and that it's a gift of God.(Ecclesiastes 3:13) I mean who wants to work in vain right? Why would I waste my time chasing something pointless. People like to call you creative and gifted when they want to use your gift for their benefit but want to tell you it won't work when you have a vision to profit from it. Pay me for my WORK and don't take my creativity for granted. If it's so easy then you do it, and call me back later when you are ready for someone who is skilled at it to fix the situation for you.
4. You have to learn to FOLLOW before you can LEAD
I have no problem following before I lead, but it's who I follow that would matter to me. We teach our children to be leaders and not followers just to slam them by saying "There are too many chiefs and no Indians." What we're doing here is sending mixed signals to the ones who have the future in their hands. As a child of a teacher I believe you can learn from anywhere. I've had different jobs that have taught me different skills, but honestly those are all skills I need to learn for my business. I used to work at a hair salon as a receptionist. To take custom orders I would have to answer the phone in a professional way when I worked at the hair salon. Prior to this People would call me and place custom orders all the time for my jewelry, so I had receptionist skills but I wasn't very confident. I will admit that my skills got better in that area though with the experience I gained for the months I was there. Once again if you are going to use following to learn from somewhere please just use it in context. You need to consider what you are saying. Everybody isn't meant to be in your circle so learning from just anybody isn't okay, and it shouldn't be said so passively as if it is.
5. I can get that from Store X for X amount of Dollars
Then by all means please be my guest and go somewhere else instead of wasting my time and energy. When I was pregnant with my son I was trying to come up with a few dollars to get a car seat because they won't allow you to leave the hospital without one. A woman asked me to make some dance sashes and she said she'd pay me because she believes in supporting a "Black Owned business." Well let me tell you about this experience. She actually bought the materials for me, and I made the pattern for the sashes, she didn't even give me accurate measurements for the girls she wanted me to create for, all she did is tell me that some of the girls were thick around the mid section. I had actually successfully made 1 sash. I was telling her what I needed and she was hell bent on having her way. When I tried to make a deal with her she told me she could go buy it from another store instead of paying me what I asked for which was actually $2 cheaper than what she would have bought from the store AND she got way more than I should have been offering. I was desperate though and I needed a car seat because my husband had money to pay the bills but not the extra that we needed to cover the cost of the car seat. She later confessed she wanted me to do it for free. So when I had my son I actually had no car seat and I asked her for help. She ridiculed me for not being responsible and being a beggar. I will be honest, I don't appreciate these types of clients, and I lose respect for them quickly. Losing them is no sweat off my back. So, my son had no car seat, and all I could see was when I was far along in my pregnancy with him how I got on the floor and drafted a 70"x5" sash for little girls I didn't even have a chance to measure because she didn't want me to. I still gave it a shot because she bought the materials so I didn't want her to lose any money on an investment she made, but she wasn't willing to pay me for my labor, not even with a car seat, so I gave her every thread and every fabric she bought completely unafraid. What was there to lose? I don't know anybody who does a job for free that has so much labor. Let that be at my discretion whether I give you something for free or discounted. Don't come at me like I'm your Sista' and we supposed to be looking out for each other so I gotta give you free hand outs. If I'm your Sista then support me for real. Help spread the word about my work, and help fund it by really investing in it. Don't make me into a slave though, cause that's what you are doing when you ask a professional to do something they do for a living for free. Like I said earlier people like to support you as long as it's convenient for them, but not when you try to profit so you can make a living.
6. You're Too Much of a Dreamer
It's as if dreams never become a reality to these folks. They don't even realize the things they use in their daily lives was a dream or a vision of someone else. Your phone, your car, the stop light. Those are all inventions, and people need to stop putting creativity on the back burner because it's all around them. So to those people who have ever said to anyone that they're too much of a dreamer DUH!!! That's kind of the point! The Bible says to write the vision and make it plain so that he who reads it may run. (Habakkuk 2:2) Where are you running to though?
I had a mentor who told me you can dream all you want but what are you doing to make that a reality? If a person is making their dream a reality with every day by pursuing it with everything they've got, just go on ahead and take your hat off to them. Raise your glass to them because they are doing something a lot of people never get to do. Some dreams go to the grave, whether their gifts be in the arts or math and engineering. If you're a dreamer that's a good start but for every bit of faith you have there is an action to go with it, and that's why Faith Without Works is dead. So instead of going off about people being dreamers why not ask "What are you doing to make that real?" People talk all the time about having businesses, they talk all the time about having websites, all of it is nothing without the actions to back it. My problem is being told that I'm too much of a dreamer when I constantly show you the evidence that I'm making that real. I get a return all the time on my investments and you still feel the need to call it just a dream. Okay maybe, but who's the one sleeping? Cause I'm wide awake.
7. You Have Your Whole LIFE to Do That
Last time I checked death was real and it has no respect of person. Why not live every day like it's your last? Why put off the things you wanted to do today for tomorrow? These are things we are taught about Faith but not about business and life in general. People used to tell me this one all the time, that I'm still learning and I need to go somewhere and gain some skills and that I have my whole life ahead of me to make a business. Mind you I was making good money and had great skills but still they didn't take me seriously enough to recommend anything that guided me in that direction. My peers are just now becoming entrepreneurs and business people because they were told "you have your whole life ahead of you to do that." It's never too late, but I had an early start and I actually like making young entrepreneurs. It's just my thing. In fact I'm trying to begin a project teaching youth skills in the arts and then teaching them entrepreneurship and I take it seriously because I don't want anymore youth going out into the world clueless. To me this phrase is a fancy way to tell someone to put that off until later and do what I want you to do now. Like I said I'm down for recommendations if they align with the vision. However I have to stay focused and right now putting off what I want to focus on means that I'm becoming distracted Anything that a person might say to take me off course from what I'm trying to do is how they advocate dysfunction, and confusion. This is how you breed people with low self-esteem, who go through a loss of identity. They don't know how they fit or where they belong because they don't even feel comfortable in their own skin after you're done with them. They are totally insecure, and it's because of so much misguidance. What hurts more is this sorry advice often comes from our elders who are supposed to lead us and guide us in the right Way. I know they don't know everything, and that they don't have infinite knowledge. I can actually respect that, and I know they are also still learning but if that's the case I believe they should try their best to relate rather than judge.
At the end of the day knowing who you are and standing up for who you are is the only thing you can really do to stay on track. You will have people who love you and support you, but you'll also have haters who try to misguide you or well meaning people who just don't have a God perspective on who you are so give you bad information.
If you are striving to be successful whether you are an entrepreneur or a career focused individual, you can't listen to these things people say, especially when they say them in the wrong spirit.
When I graduated I had all this experience and credentials with not a lick of faith in myself because I listened to people. It's a horrible place to be in. Losing who you are in the opinions others have of you takes you to a dark place. I'm sad to say I completely lost myself, and rejected myself. Now I'm married with 2 kids and I'm just now coming into embracing who I am, because I got delivered from worrying about what people think of me. I know who I am, I know where I belong, and I know what I should be doing. My hope for women and men alike is that they also come to know this, and I'm very driven about breeding other career oriented entrepreneurs. It's not a easy journey to walk but it's much easier to be myself and take up my own cup than to try to drink someone else's. The struggles I face in my journey are tailored for my ability to handle it. If I take on something else someone else says in that process I'll begin falling out of line and become way of my league. When it comes to knowing yourself, sticking to your guns is really what works. It also helps you work smarter and not harder in some cases.
